


Is This Thing Cursed

by Quipplepunk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Alkaline Trio, Anger, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Liberal use of the word fuck, Marauders, Music, Panic Attacks, Song Lyrics, is this thing cursed, sitting on a roof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:42:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23710105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quipplepunk/pseuds/Quipplepunk
Summary: Sirius finds himself under his parents' thumb yet again. This story is how he reacts, how his friends react to him, and how he emotionally processes with music.A song fic. Alkaline Trio - Is This Thing Cursed.
Relationships: Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter
Kudos: 6





	Is This Thing Cursed

“I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not doing it. I won’t. Not anymore. No,” Sirius said, more to himself than to James, Remus, or Peter. Sirius shook his head and pursed his lips. His glassy eyes spilled a tear or two. 

“You don’t have to,” James reassured. Sirius shot him a disapproving look and scoffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. Peter shuffled his feet and tugged at the hem of his shirt. “Uhm,” he said, “yeah. Don’t do it anymore, Sirius.” Peter hesitantly raised his eyes to meet Sirius’s. The moment they made eye contact, Peter darted his gaze way. 

James rolled his eyes at Peter and pushed off the wall he was leaning against. He took a few steps towards Sirius, careful not to invade Sirius’s personal space bubble which tripled in size when he was emotional. James took a deep breath through his nose and folded his arms across his puffed up chest. 

“Sirius,” James said, looking over top of his glasses. Sirius tightened his jaw and turned to squarely face James. “You will be taken care of. My parents will-” 

“Oh shut it, James!” Sirius interrupted, spitting as he spoke. “We all know your perfect parents love you and love their money and love- just fucking-” Sirius stuttered. “Just fucking love fucking everything! Because you’re just the perfect fucking little prongsy-wongsy baby boy, aren’t you!?” 

Remus snorted and covered his mouth, poorly hiding his laugh. Sirius whipped his head around and glared at Remus. Not backing down from Sirius’s glare and balled up fists, Remus twisted his face all around in a feeble attempt to keep the corners of his mouth twisting into a grin. 

Sirius growled under his breath and took two threatening steps towards Remus. Remus threw his hands up in a pathetic surrender. “I’m sorry. This isn’t funny. I know. But Sirius,” Remus choked on a laugh again, “‘pronsy-wongsy, baby boy!?’” Remus grabbed his stomach and laughed heartily. James relaxed his shoulders and the scowl fell from his face, laughing himself. Peter smiled faintly and quickly looked from face to face. The plastic smile on his face became more of a grimace as his flitting eyes came to rest on Sirius. 

Sirius was frozen in his place. His face was red. He gazed into the middle distance and his nostrils flared with his shallow breaths. Pulling himself out of his fit of laughter, Remus wiped a watery eye on the back of his hand. Seeing Peter’s wide eyes and furrowed brow, Remus snapped his attention to Sirius. James followed the direction of Remus’s attention. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” James cooed. Sirius tensed. He started to shake. 

“Sirius…” Remus said softly, getting to his feet. Sirius’s eyes darted around the room. 

“You don’t have to run, Sirius,” James said firmly. 

“James,” Remus said shortly, batting James away with a wave of his hand. “Sirius,” Remus soothed. “Listen, if you need to run, then run. I’ll run with you, ok?” 

Sirius stepped backwards until he hit the wall behind him. He slid down the wall and brought his knees to his chest. He gripped his arms tightly, digging his fingers into his skin. 

“No, Sirius,” Remus said, kneeling down next to him. “You don’t have to hurt yourself.” Then, more timidly, “I’m sorry we laughed – sorry that I laughed.”

Sirius’s eyes were wide and unfocused. His knuckles were white with the intensity of his grip. James strode across the room and plopped down next to Sirius, leaning against the wall beside him. Sirius jumped. He leaned away from James, who took the cue and scooted over a few feet. Peter tip-toed over to the others and stood a few short paces behind Remus, tugging on the hem of his shirt.

*** 

“Is this thing cursed?  
This goddamn thing's the worst  
Now one look in that direction  
And everything starts to hurt  


“Is this thing cursed?  
It's been around for years  
And every time my boat's about tits up  
That goddamn thing is near

“I tried to throw it in the river  
But it washed up in my sink  
And now the city cut my water  
And it's all I have to drink”

With a flick of his wand, the key board laying across Sirius’s lap transfigured into a guitar. The gentle melody of the song swelled into powerful conviction as he played on. 

“Is this thing cursed?  
If it is then I'm the jerk  
Who keeps on hanging around  
When I simply should just burn it to the ground

“Maybe it's some kind of spell  
That I've been living under  
Collecting coins found near a nightmare wishing well  
Coldest regards signed my name and sealed the card  
Tried to leave it all behind me and almost blew up in my car  
Is this thing cursed?

“Is this thing cursed?

“Is this thing cursed?  
My haunted headaches so much worse  
Than those that can't remember  
How dismemberment works  


“Is this thing cursed?  
It's been around for years  
And every time my life's about tits up  
That goddamn thing is near

“I tried to throw it in the river  
But it washed up in my sink  
And now the city cut my water  
And it's all I have to drink  
Is this thing cursed?”  


Sirius played the last few notes and before the sounds had begun to fade, Peter asked, “What’s cursed? What’s the thing? The thing that’s cursed?”

Remus narrowed his eyes at Peter and pursed his lips, shaking his head slightly. Sirius looked up into the sky, then down onto the grounds, then at the decorative water spouts at the edge of the roof on which they were sitting. James took a long swig of cheap wine he and Sirius had bought at a muggle shop during the last holiday break.

“The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, of course, wormy,” Sirius said. He reached out to James, grasping at the bottle.

Peter squirmed for a moment then blurted out, “But then what’s all that about drowning it and all the water references?”

Remus shot Peter another disapproving look and tsk-ed, just once. Sirius drank gulps from the bottle then laid back, stretching out on the rooftop with his guitar still balanced across his torso. James smirked and flung himself across Peter and Remus to flop onto Sirius, grabbing at the wine.

“Oi!” Sirius grunted. “Watch the guitar!” He shoved James off of him. As Sirius checked the guitar for damage, it transfigured, reverting back into his well-worn leather jacket. “Tosser,” Sirius scoffed under his breath.

“But Sirius,” Peter whined. “What does it mean?”

“Does it have to mean anything?” Remus rolled his eyes and beckoned for the bottle. James handed it to him. Remus frowned deeply after tipping back the bottle. Empty.

“Well, I don’t know, it usually does, that’s all,” Peter grumbled.<

Sirius scoffed. “What, Pete? You wanna hear another sob story about my bleeding heart issues?”

Peter brightened up momentarily, leaning in towards Sirius a little with all of his attention. All at once, Sirius, James, and Remus looked at Peter with cocked heads, raised eye brows, and slightly gaping mouths. “Well, I mean,” Peter said, “do you ever talk about anything except yourself, toss pot?” Peter forced a laugh and lobbed the bottle’s cork at Sirius. Sirius caught it in one hand and the group proceeded to applaud his talents.

*** 

“I thought I was done with it all when I was sorted into Gryffindor, you know?” Sirius said. He lathered his hair with too much soap and sculpted the blob into various strange hairdos.

“What’daya mean?” James said, standing at the sink, shaving.

“Like. Ok, so, the song I just wrote?” Sirius said. James grunted in acknowledgement so Sirius continued. “The Black Lake. The Slytherin Common Room is under it, right?” Sirius rinsed out his hair. He made obnoxious blubbering noises when the water and suds ran over his face, making James chuckle to himself.

When Sirius turned off the water and reached out of the shower for his towel, James tapped his razor on the sink and said, “So, you were saying? Black Lake and the Slytherin’s Common Room.”

"Oh, right,” Sirius said. He took a moment to dry off before continuing, “It’s like… I thought if I avoided Slytherin, that if I avoided my family, avoided living under the lake – so, like, drowning in the lake, you know – I thought that I got rid of all the Slytherin inside me.” James and Sirius were looking at each other in the mirror above James’s sink. “But my family, and needing to live off of their money, and playing the part of the good Slytherin son when I need them for something… It’s just so fucked up, you know?”

James rinsed his face and gently dabbed his skin dry. Then he said, “I follow what you’re saying, yeah.” He turned to face Sirius and leaned on the sink.

“You know,” Sirius said, rummaging through a basket on a stand to find his hairbrush. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s me that’s cursed. Not the family. I mean, they’re all evil, but. What if that’s just how they are. And the curse… it’s just me?”


End file.
